• What do you get when you cross a goat and a mountain climber? Nothing........ a mountain climber is a scalar.
• Why does steak have more energy than hamburger? Because, hamburger is in its ground state.
• Heisenberg was driving down the Autobahn whereupon he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman asked, "Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am."